All I ever seem to have done on this blog is write about how busy I am, and how I don’t have time to write, when in actual fact I’ve been wasting time there and then by writing about having no time to write. So I’m going to write about WHY I don’t have time to write frequently about fashion. (Note the specificity).
I’ve just started my fifth year of High School, my second year of GCSEs, sophomore year, the last year of compulsory education. Whatever you want to call it, I’m doing it. And I’m trying to enjoy it alot, but still do the best I can.
One thing that annoys me at the moment, and I know it’s going to keep happening, is that people who don’t know that I am reasonably talented in art (not my words, don’t look like that rolling your eyes!) just assume I’m going to be off to do my A Levels, then apply for somewhere like Cambridge or Oxford, because surely if I can’t do that, who can? Right? NO! Fashion is what I want to do, and yes I get good grades in all of my other subjects, but I work hard at them and quite frankly, I deserve them! Yeah I do sometimes get by without working my bum off my Topshop skinnies, but it doesn’t all just HAPPEN! I don’t just glance at an exam paper and get 100%. Why do you think I work so hard, and try to get the best grades I can get? Because I like Maths, Physics and Geography? Because then I can get into some highly prestigious university studying something I don’t really want to do, but I’m smart and tens of people would kill to be told (quite a few times) that they could well get accepted to Oxford, so I should?! (That sentence was very badly written but I’m in full rant mode, I’m not about to go back and change it.)
No! I work hard at everything I do because then I know I will have a better chance of getting to do what I want. Fashion, art and textiles are included in the things I get good grades in, and just because they’re not academic subjects doesn’t mean thos grades are any easier to get, that I put less work in to them, that they’re not as worthy of my time at college/uni. Fashion is my dream, it’s my world now. I nearly cried earlier because I considered the possibility of the course I’ve been dreaming of studying (from 2012) since I was 13, closing and not being available.
Nobody has any idea how much I want to do this. I don’t buy extra books on nuclear physics or population dynamics or Shakespeare, I buy Vogue, ELLE and books about designers, vintage fashion, old Vogue and fashion philosophy, because it’s my THING. I am part of the fashion world. Some people feel like they’re connected to people in films, or books if they’re obsessed with Harry Potter, or bands. They feel like they know the people, they want to know everything about the authors, actors or writers. They want to know their' star signs, where they lived when they were 12, what their first cat was called, why they make their work. They are obsessed. Well that’s me, only I have collages of Vogue and fashion ads plastered all over my walls instead of the grungy yet to someone supposedly attractive face of some over-hyped band who really sound the same as any other.
(Just thought it would be amusing to slot in here that whilst writing this I am wearing a GAP hoodie and leggings and look like a “right proper minger” because I’m feeling rubbish and owe it to my clothes and vintage jewellery not to look rubbish whilst wearing them too).
I haven’t really come to a conclusion, but I’m going to stop writing and make a hot drink because I feel like poo and just realised it’s raining (there is no relevance, I just thought I’d be British and complain about the weather).
I apologise for my directness in this post, but I had to aim it at someone.
